Sex and Violence in Hollywood Read online

  “You wouldn’t have gone if you knew, and then Monty wouldn’t have helped us.”

  “Exactly how did you think that goon was going to help us? You’d trust him? He was insane, Rain, I’m telling you, stable people don’t go around holding up liquor stores to win friends and influence people. They don’t carry a gun in every pocket or throw parties like the one he threw tonight! That’s a great bunch of friends you got there, Rain, it was like a David Lynch movie.”

  “They’re not my fuckin’ friends, okay?” she said. “I didn’t know any of those people. Monty was my only real friend there,” she said quietly, bowed her head. “If he’s dead...I’m gonna miss him.”

  “Want to go back to his party?” Adam said. “Maybe you can find another one. There had to be a dozen granite-skulled social retards there with a loaded gun in each pocket. I’m not sure, but I think that party was a meeting of their union!”

  Rain turned away from him. Picked up an onion ring, moved it toward her mouth, then threw it back down. Put her face in her hands and said something.

  “What?” Adam asked, turning to her.

  She glanced at him, hissed, “I said, that’s a shitty thing to say.” Her frightened, angry eyes shed real tears. Rain could not have startled Adam more had she slapped his face. The anger and hatred he had felt toward her retreated for the moment.

  Carter saw the tears on Rain’s face, the way Adam was looking at her, and scooted out of the booth. “I’m gonna go see what’s new on the walls,” he said, then walked away.

  Adam lifted his coffee to his lips. His hand still trembled.

  “I’m sorry, Rain,” he said. “I, um...he was your friend, and I shouldn’t have said that, but...I mean, considering what I went through tonight, do you think you could cut me a little bit of a break?”

  Sniffling, Rain dabbed her eyes with a paper napkin. “Do you think he’s dead?” she whispered.

  “I...I don’t know, it was...well, that close to a sawed-off shotgun...there was a lot of blood. It was there all of a sudden, everywhere it seemed, the second that shotgun went off.” He noticed a drying spatter of blood on the back of his hand. Quickly dipped a paper napkin in his ice water and scrubbed it away. “I’m sorry, Rain, but I’d be surprised if he was alive.” He reached under the table and used the napkin on his life-speckled shoes.

  Rain picked up what remained of her half of the sandwich, held it between thumb and middle finger and carefully chose a place to bite. Chewed slowly. “I knew Monty was crazy,” she said. “But he was a nice guy, whether you or anybody else fuckin’ believes it or not. He was like a fuckin’ kid. I was eleven when I first met him and I think that’s why we got along so well right off, “cause we were both kids, even though he was older than me. He stole Hostess Fruit Pies and Seventeen magazine for me. That first summer, he drove me out to the desert and taught me to shoot an AK-47.”

  Adam decided to keep to himself any remarks that came to mind. He heard genuine grief in her voice—or what sounded like it—and did not want to belittle that. Monty was a dangerous low-life cretin, but Adam could not comment on the friendship Rain had had with him. Maybe Monty had changed her life in some way. That it was a change for the better was dubious, but this was the first time he had seen her express any real emotion other than anger. He must have meant something to her.

  “He was always there for me, no matter where we went, where we lived,” she said. “And he helped me out again tonight.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The gun.”

  “The one he threw at me?”

  She nodded.

  “That helps you?”

  “It helps us.”

  Adam waited for her to continue. When she did not, he said, “Look, I don’t feel like playing the Pyramid, okay? Say what’s on your mind and quit—” He was about to say, quit wasting my time! She didn’t need to hear that now. “Just don’t be so mysterious, okay?”

  “What’s the fuckin’ mystery?” Rain asked. “It’s an untraceable gun.”

  “How do you know it’s untraceable?”

  “Okay, maybe it’s traceable. But not to us.”

  “Do you know anything about it?”

  Rain shrugged. “It’s a fuckin’ amazing gun, a Colt .45 automatic handcannon. Other than that, I don’t know dick. Maybe it wasn’t even his. Maybe a friend loaned it to him for the night. And maybe his friend had borrowed it from another friend, without asking. And maybe that guy picked it up in a house he broke into and robbed, and maybe it’s registered to the guy who owns the house. The cops show up at his fuckin’ door, not ours. The house guy doesn’t know us, we don’t know him, the cops come back a couple times and talk to the house guy, then go have some doughnuts, ’cause they know they got nothin’.”

  Adam sipped his coffee, then turned and watched Rain slowly eat a glistening, broken onion ring. She tilted her head back just a bit, lowered the onion ring into her mouth. Pulled it in with her tongue.

  “Why would the cops be looking for the gun?” Adam asked. “I mean...we have the gun. Right? We do have the gun, don’t we? Did I miss something?”

  Rain nodded. “It’s in the car, under the seat.”

  “Okay, so why would the cops be looking for it when they’ve got no reason to know it exists? It wasn’t even fired.”

  “They wouldn’t be looking for it now, you fuckin’ sportscaster,” Rain said. She whispered, soft as rose petals. “Y’know, if it turned up later. Like, in a murder, or something.”

  She smiled, stroked his leg. Her touch startled him, made him jump. Turning from Rain, he sipped his coffee again. Stared into the cup.

  There it was again. Killing his dad and Gwen. The more he thought about it, the easier it seemed it would be to kill his dad. Memories kept coming back, things he hadn’t thought about in years. Some little things, others bigger. Like the time Michael introduced him to Harrison Ford at a party at the house.

  “This is my son, Adam,” Michael had said, putting a hand on top of Adam’s head. “He’s a big fan of yours. Probably because you’re everything he’s not. I swear to God, he isn’t a doer. I don’t know what the hell’s gonna become of him. I’ll probably be supporting him the rest of my life.”

  Adam had been eight years old at the time. Harrison Ford had looked almost as big as he did on the theater screen. He’d looked down at Adam and smiled, said, “Hey, how’s it going, big guy?” Then he had walked away.

  “Okay, happy now?” Michael said. “Go to bed. Go! Upstairs, before the guests start to leave because of you.”

  Adam couldn’t remember if he’d done anything to deserve that last remark. Probably not. It was the kind of thing his dad would say with no provocation, for no reason. He had run upstairs to his room and cried himself to sleep.

  Other memories, some similar, others worse, came back in trickles and bursts. They made it easier to seriously consider murdering Michael Julian.

  One question kept trying to occur to him: What would Mom think? He never allowed the question to fully take form, told himself he would be doing it for her. To avenge her death. Her murder.

  “You don’t seem too fuckin’ impressed,” Rain said. “I thought I was being pretty resourceful.”

  Adam nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, that...that’s very resourceful. I just don’t feel very enthusiastic right now, okay?”

  “I don’t like it when you talk that way, Big Brother,” Rain said.

  “Like what?”

  “Real loose like that, like you could be talkin’ about anything. Makes me nervous. You should be committed, Adam.”

  He chuckled. “That’s funny. I’ve been thinking the same thing about you.”

  “You asshole. Is everything a fuckin’ joke to you? Aren’t you ever serious?”

  “I’m always serious, Rain. Only the jokes are funny. Sometimes.”

  “I mean you should be committed to what we’re gonna do, Big Brother, because I don’t wanna spend all fuckin’ summer talki
n’ about it. That gun’s exactly what we need, and we’re gonna use it. Soon.” She smiled, shook her head. “You oughtta be grateful. In our original plan, you end up in prison for murder.” She laughed.

  “What? Whose original plan?”

  Carter returned to the table and slid back into his seat.

  Adam decided to pursue the remark later. “I still haven’t said I’d do it.”

  She laughed a pretty, girlish laugh. “Sometimes your jokes are pretty fuckin’ funny, you know that, Big Brother?”

  “What’re you guys talking about?” Carter asked.

  “Oh, just stupid shit,” Rain said casually, taking another bite of her half of the sandwich.

  Adam told him what they were talking about with a silent look.

  Carter said, “Y’know, I was thinking just now—” He stopped uncertainly.

  “Thinking what?” Adam asked.

  “Well, um...” Laughter burst out of him and he muffled it with a hand over his mouth. Shook his head, nodded, shook it again. Leaned toward them and said quietly, but with great passion and delight, “Tonight was the most fun I’ve ever had in my entire life! I mean, it was like a really scary amusement park ride!”

  “We’ve done it now, Rain,” Adam said. “We’ve sent Carter over the edge.”

  “No, I’m not kidding,” Carter insisted. “It was...I’ve never felt that way before.”

  Adam asked, “You mean, in danger? Like maybe you’re gonna get your brains blown out, that kind of feeling?”

  “Yeah, that’s it!” Carter pointed a finger at him. “Danger. I guess I’ve never experienced danger before. Real danger. It felt good! I really think it was a life-changing experience.”

  “Bullshit,” Adam said. “An underwear-changing experience, maybe.”

  “No, really, Adam, I’m twice as alive now! I want to do it again.”

  “You’re in shock, Carter. You can’t do it again.”

  Rain sat motionless and watched Carter, smiled knowingly as she listened.

  “I’ve always kinda felt like something was missing from my life,” Carter went on. “And that’s it. Danger. Excitement. I don’t have enough danger and excitement in my life.”

  “You don’t have enough life in your life,” Adam said. “You wouldn’t leave the house if I didn’t go over there and drag your ass downstairs.”

  “Hey,” Rain said to Adam. “Would you shut the fuck up and let the man talk.”

  Adam rolled his eyes.

  “I guess what I’m saying is...” Carter moved closer and whispered, “If you guys really want to kill your parents, I wanna help.” He paused a moment, frowned. Then smiled. “Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say. That I want to help.” He leaned back, somehow more relaxed, and finished off his half of the grilled cheese.

  Rain laughed and gave Carter’s arm an affectionate slap. “You’re good fuckin’ people, Carter.”

  “Thank you,” Carter said with a nod and a grin. “I think you’re pretty cool yourself.”

  Adam said, “I’m going to vomit.”

  They left Denny’s when four obstreperous young men took the booth across from theirs, mistreated the waitress, then made lewd remarks about various parts of Rain’s body. She leaned over and whispered to Adam that she wanted to leave.

  “Really?” he said. “I’m surprised. I figured four guys like that would be a typical date for you.”

  She gave him a foul look. “You know, I’m beginning to think your dad isn’t the only asshole in the family.”

  Adam’s mouth dropped open, snapped shut again. He could not believe she’d said that. Did she know how deeply it stabbed him? Probably. She knew more than she was telling about a lot of things, he suspected.

  Carter and Rain made out noisily in the backseat. Adam felt no jealousy—after all, Rain was the Antichrist—and yet it made him uncomfortable. Didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right. Everything in his life at the moment was wrong. Except Alyssa. It was late, but he still planned to go see her after he dropped off Rain and Carter.

  At his house, Adam stopped in the driveway and waited with the engine running while Rain got out. She said goodbye to Carter, but not to Adam. Carter got in the front seat and they headed for his place.

  “Looks like you and Rain get along pretty well,” Adam said, smiling in spite of his discomfort with the whole thing.

  “I’m not sure,” Carter said. “I feel a little spooky about this, Adam. I mean, it’s surreal. I’m not complaining, I just want to make sure I’m not doing anything that’s gonna...y’know, that’s gonna hurt you. Is this gonna be a problem?”

  Carter’s words made Adam’s shoulders feel a bit lighter. “Thank you, Carter. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. But I don’t want you to get hurt, either.”

  “Me?”

  “I’ve warned you about her, but I don’t think you’ve listened. She’s sixteen. You left sixteen behind the same time I did, years ago. That means you are now a criminal. In the eyes of many, a pervert.”

  “I know, I know, she’s underage, she’s trouble, I kept telling myself that the whole time, but...Adam, she’s spectacular.”

  “Yeah, I know. I think I lost a section of my right lung the first time she kissed me. And a blow job from Rain is like having your brain massaged.”

  “My brain is still tingling.”

  “But it’s scary, and it’s not free. She’ll want something for all the fun, and she’ll get it. Turn on the news, see if there’s anything about the robbery.”

  Carter turned on the radio, found a news station. “You still think she’s evil?”

  Adam laughed. “Still? Evil doesn’t just go away, Carter. Evil is like Strom Thurman, it just hangs around and farts and slobbers and decays and makes everybody sick. And Rain is evil.”

  The female newscaster on the radio read a story about a twelve year old boy in Canoga Park who had raped and killed the five year old girl who lived next door. She went on to cover a story about a single father in Canyon Country who had locked his nine year old son in a small, unventilated, metal toolshed as punishment for bad behavior, and had forgotten about him, leaving him there from the late hours of the morning until dinnertime. By the time the father opened the shed, the intense heat and lack of oxygen had killed the boy. There was no mention of the liquor store robbery.

  Carter turned to Adam, his expression serious. “You’re really in trouble, aren’t you?”

  “You and me both now.”

  “I’m not joking.”

  “I’ve never joked about it! You’re the one who’s been acting like it’s a joke!”

  “Are you gonna do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “You know.”

  “Oh. That. I’m confused, Carter. You seem awfully comfortable with the idea of killing my dad and Gwen.”

  Carter shrugged. “I’m not saying it’s right, or anything, but...I don’t think anybody’s really gonna miss your dad, are they? Besides a few studio bean counters, right? He’s an amoral prick whose feet smell like the chimneys of Auschwitz. Your words, by the way, not mine.”

  “But what about Gwen?”

  Another pause. “I don’t really know her. I mean, it would be, like, a definite waste of grade-A womanflesh, but still, I don’t know her. And besides, like you said...she’s got reloads. I take that very personally.”

  In some small back room of his mind, Adam could not believe he was having this conversation. But it did not intrude on his other thoughts, or his attention to what Carter was saying. The idea felt good. He did not trust Rain as far as he could kick her, but he had trusted Carter his whole life. If he was going to do something dangerous, he wanted Carter with him.

  “Why do you want to do this?” Adam asked.

  “To keep you from getting caught, dipshit,” Carter replied impatiently, as if it were obvious. “And because your alternative sucks. You know what would happen to you in prison? You’d get more dates the first day than you’ve had all you
r life.”

  “I’ve done my best to come to the conclusion that prison wouldn’t be so bad. Or that my dad would hire Johnny Cochran to get me off.” Adam gulped. Suddenly his mouth was dry, throat felt swollen. “Anything to avoid doing what Rain wants to do.”

  “And what you want to do! How many times have you talked about killing your dad? Remember our freshman year in high school? You talked about it so much I thought you were really gonna to do it. You wanted to throw him in front of a moving train and watch him come apart, remember? But we couldn’t figure out how to get him to the tracks.”

  “But what if we get caught?” Adam said, thumping a fist on the steering wheel. “I go to prison for statutory rape, and no matter how bad it is, at least I’ll come home at the end of it. With murder, we’re talking the death penalty, or life in prison. Not for Rain, of course, she’s a minor, but definitely for us. And Rain knows that, which is why she wants me to help, because that distances her from it. ‘My big brother did it!’ she’ll say, and she won’t be lying.”

  “That’s why you need me. To help you, and to keep an eye on her.”

  Adam nodded. “Makes sense. So...you really want to do this?”

  Carter grinned. “Can’t wait!”

  SIXTEEN

  After dropping Carter off, Adam could not get to Alyssa’s house fast enough. It was almost one in the morning, so he called ahead and asked her if it was okay to come so late. She and her parents were already in bed, but she would meet him at the door.

  When he arrived, Alyssa waited for him in the doorway in a white Bugs Bunny T-shirt several sizes too large for her, legs and feet bare. She leaned on the doorjamb, smiling but sleepy.

  Adam threw his arms around her and locked his lips over hers. He was beginning to like walking up to a beautiful girl and kissing her like that without a word or a signal.

  Inside, Alyssa’s house was dark and smelled of incense and marijuana. An overhead light lit the small foyer, but beyond that, only darkness. Hunkering in a shadowy corner of the foyer was a four-foot tall ceramic Buddha that made Adam back up a step at first glance. For a moment, he thought it was a fat naked black dwarf.